RK could have also entitled this "Born too late" but since monkey is far more descriptive of the protagonists about which we speak we decided in its favor.
The proliferation of rug dealers trying to morph themselves into 'auctioneers' continues unabated with Hamburg's I wanna be an important rug dealer Mohammad Tehrani entering the fray.
Hey listen its a free world, well still sorta at least on the internet, and anyone can become anything they want just by typing some words into the net.
But in reality its takes more than signing up to one of the many platforms that now enable anyone to become an auctioneer.
Sorry folks but rug-monkeys like Mohammad Tehrani or that fool from Oakland California, mohammed zavvar and his hazara gallery, just ain't got the right stuff to succeed in doing anything other than muddying the already murky waters of rugDUMB.
Unlike zavvar, who is on his own, Tehrani is backed by uber Turkmen collector hans sienknecht, who supplied Tehrani with most if not all of the better merchandise he has been selling, and trying to sell, for the past many years.
We are of the opinion sienknecht was behind Terhrani's recent move from a small gallery that was in a rather out of the way location in Hamburg to the front and center former gallery of Hans Eitzenberger, who retired and went out of business several years ago.
There is little doubt Teharni bit off more than he could chew, as the antique oriental rug business is almost as dead as a door-nail and regardless of where a rug gallery is located, or how much rent it costs to keep the door open, few people are traipsing in with open wallets to purchase antique rugs.
RK has discussed the demographic reasons for this at length and no need to do so again.
Tehrani and his backer hans sienknecht surely need to rethink their strategy, just rebranding Tehrani's Gallery "Antique and Contemporary Textile Art: The address for exclusive modern and antique carpets - kilims - unique in Hamburg" will not change the situation, or make Tehrani's dwindling business flourish.
Neither will trying to turn Tehrani into an auctioneer.
It is quite clear sienknecht is a rich man, who inherited a sizeable amount of money from his family and was generously paid to push paper for one of the major German banks.
But he knows little about business, and trying to make Tehrani competition for the already well established major auction houses that sell antique carpets, or specialist auctioneers like rippon-boswell and Austria Auction who really has become strong competition thanks to Udo Langauer's wide contacts and family connections, is a fool's game that will fail miserably.
We have seen the mediocre 106 rugs in Tehrani's first auction and frankly we doubt many will sell and those that do will sell for chump change.
Just to add some perspective in 1979 RK tried to enlist a group of the best antique carpet dealers on the east coast to form our own auction house.
We told them how dumb it was to take their best rugs and give them to sotheby and Christie to sell.
By doing this losing game dealers gave sotheby and Christie the connections to the customers leaving them out in the cold.
We explained it was a zero sum game, and were proven 100 percent correct -- sotheby and Christies got all the customers and the dealers got little benefit other than the anonymity to sell their best pieces.
Antique oriental rug dealers, and collectors, are paranoid schmucks who have not only destroyed their own futures but have dfestroyed any interest in this collecting pastime.
2016 marks our 50th year, and in this time we have met, we are sure, at least 97% of all the people who became involved in this business and collecting universe. We can honestly say very, very few of them had anything going for themselves -- most were boring, droll opportunists or just plain suckers.
Yes, many were rich and ambitious, but they were not intelligent and surely were not aesthetic.
The result is the doldrums antique and historic carpet collecting is now mired in while interests in art and other types of collectibles is at a zenith the proportions of which has never been seen before.
Rug dealers and collectors have only themselves, and their pathetic short-sightedness, to blame. And now trying to jump onto the auction wagon phenomena is truly brainless monkey see monkey do activity that is so far born too late it might as well be still-born.